First of all, I'd like to share with you that each life coach can work differently. In this blog I'm going to talk about what you can expect and how I approach the sessions with my clients.
The coaching I do is more orientated towards emotional integration and shadow work. While many coaches work exclusively towards external goals, I believe that the external is a consequence of the internal, i.e. the freer and more secure we feel internally, the more clarity and energy we feel to do and achieve the things that are important to us.
These two aspects go hand in hand, but our society is too addicted to doing (orientated towards the outside world), and not used to simply Being. What I observe with many clients is that we often want things on the outside to avoid getting in touch with some feelings or sensations on the inside. What we think we want often doesn't correspond to what we really want, because we're being driven by fear and an escape from the past.
We may, for example, think that we want to have a loving relationship, when in fact what we want is to feel safe in our own bodies. There's a belief that says: "if I have that loving relationship I'll feel safe and everything will be fine". The same goes for money. We believe that if we have a lot of money, we'll feel that security and freedom that we want so much, which makes us dependent on money. When we have money we feel safe, when we lack it we feel afraid. And what's interesting is that the freer and more secure we feel internally, the more we are able to attract relationships, money and other things to us, because we attract what we are.
That's why, in the life coaching sessions I conduct, I pay more attention to the reason why each client doesn't feel safe or free right now. We have become accustomed to running away and disconnecting from our body emotions, which causes most people on this planet to experience various symptoms such as anxiety, depressive states, feelings of loneliness, among many others. This is a vicious cycle, because, for example, when we feel lonely we look for relationships to compensate for that feeling of loneliness. None of this is wrong, but we're not looking at the cause of the feeling of loneliness, which is the disconnection with our body and emotional world.
So, in order to reconnect, we need to start feeling the life that exists in the body. To feel alive is to feel that life that we have become accustomed to hiding and denying. In the sessions, I can ask you a few questions that will help you deepen your reflection and start to get in touch with your inner world. The questions I ask are ones that we are not used to answering and that will facilitate reconnection and contact with the body. By taking our attention away from the outside world and being open to looking inwards, we are taking our attention away from the mental noise and connecting with the world of sensations that live in our body.
First of all, you need to start knowing and feeling your limits. When we feel disconnected, our boundaries are easily violated by others and the outside world. Some people may "abuse" or talk down to us, or we may find it hard to say "no" or find it very difficult to make certain decisions. The lack of a sense of boundaries creates a kind of opening for us to feel that the outside world is a dangerous and unreliable place.
To do this, I'm going to guide you through some somatic exercises. These are exercises that will allow you to get back in touch with those parts of yourself that you're not so used to feeling or recognising. In other words, as you start to become aware of the life that exists in your body, you'll naturally feel your limits more. It's a feeling of greater empowerment and grounding. The more you feel your body and its energy, the more confidence you feel to act and to allow various emotions to simply express themselves.
As you feel more energised, I can also suggest that you start acting towards the things that really matter to you and your goals. I call it aligned actions, i.e. actions that don't come from a place of fear, but from a truer place of greater clarity. The more you feel safe in your own body, the more these desires and goals come to the surface, and with that you can, at your own pace, start taking steps towards them. As I said before, the inner and outer worlds go hand in hand. By doing this you are reinforcing the internal feeling of "I can do it" or "I am capable".
This process of emotional integration is a return to ourselves, to our authenticity and free expression. To our naturalness, freedom and joy. And this whole process is carried out gradually, at the pace of each client. Each of us has our own life story, our own traumas and unique characteristics, so one person may begin to experience this feeling of reconnection, freedom and empowerment very quickly, while another may take a little longer.
For me, this is one of the best investments we can make. There is nothing in the outside world that can make us feel more complete and fulfilled. This is an internal "job". If you feel it's time and you want to take this next step, I suggest you take a look at the Reconnection programme.